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WSJ, Pittsburgh, PA Special coverage: The Nasdaq index finished the week down 173 points, its lowest point since June 1. Experts, financiers, venture capitalists, analysts, stuck-up socialists and those with nothing better to do than sit around and gamble, errr, trade stocks, all agreed that the culprit was the shock announcement of the second five-year party plan postponement from the Turkish techno terrorists (NASDAQ:TTT) headquarters in Pittsburgh PA. TTT, which took the entertainment sector by surprise with their world-wide power grab and party headquarters launch earlier this summer, had previously announced plans for "a vastly improved, technologically advanced, cutting edge, genetically modified, web enabled, nano engineered, multimedia enhanced, and basically kick arse" party to take place on this coming weekend, Aug 5th. Earlier this week, the news that the widely anticipated event was to be postponed sent shudders through the stock markets."Investors should remain calm." read the official communiqué from TTT HQ, issued just this past hour. "This is only a drill. Actually, it is not a drill, but still, those investors who cannot remain calm should take two valium and try again. This is a postponement, induced by the unfortunate and sudden but temporary departure of our key personnel. The party will take place on August 26th. People who made travel plans are encouraged to change them because never fear, there will be a party on the 26th. We swear, we swear by the beards of our grandmothers may their bones rest in pieces." The communiqué then went on in the same slightly hysterical tone, calling on sanity and reason and several voodoo fetishes at the same time. Whatever the intended effect was, the NASDAQ reacted strongly. Even Greenspan's announcement that his dog had recovered from its severe bout of diarrhoea had little effect on the spree of short selling. Pittsburgh July 29, 2000 |
Copyleft notice: Copyright (C) 1999-2005 Mustafa Ünlü. This information is free; you can redistribute it and/or modify it under the terms of the GNU General Public License as published by the Free Software Foundation; either version 2 of the License, or (at your option) any later version. |