My inventions are all going to waste

Well, well, well...

It's the Montag after that orgy of food and commercial indulgence that
the Americans have so kindly dedicated to the memory of those natives of
past times who made the fatal mistake of being kind to the pioneers back
in the 17th century.

And I'm settin' here thinkin' about lives being pissed away in all sorts
of ways...

And I'm working feverishly on pissin' away my own...

And I come across this.. this.. well, THIS.

(Pay special attenzione to the figures, eh?)

And I suddenly think of all the patents that I've not yet submitted:

- Method for making underwear last four or more days
- An invention to suck up stray Drosophila in a laboratory setting,
consisting of vacuum line and a glass pipette
- Novel tooth picking method involving an ordinary table knife
- Prealcohol consumption lining of the GI tract with pure olive oil in
order to increase resistance and consumption

And somehow everything is all right again, for a wee while.

Pittsburgh 27 November 2000