| Infidel diary | |
| Home | Elsewhere | | |
| Main Pages
External links |
Takes hard-line against other parties amid mounting resistance from allies... PITTSBURGH (AP) President Bush declared today that he was toughening his stance against party goers and organizers across the world. In what many characterized as an unexpected move, the White House has declared that they will now put the right of the American people to party before anyone else in the world first on their agenda. "We need to be make sure that we are the ones who get to party first and party hard . We certainly will not wait for evildoers to party before we do." declared Bush. "The UN should show some backbone and pass some emergency resolutions about parties across the civilized world." According to the President's wishes, an emergency party will immediately be thrown this Saturday night in Pittsburgh. As usual, potential evildoers moving about without proper IDs or with suspicious intentions will first be shot, then searched and questioned.
International criticism of President Bush's call was immediate and widespread, with only Britain throwing in support. As Tony Blair rushed to dance with the Queen, other Europeans were quick to point out their displeasure. "He is overreacting. We Europeans have had to deal with party organizations for years." said German Justice Minister Herta Daeuberl-Gmelin. "Spain's had the ETA (Ecstatic Techno Army); the IRA (Independent Ravers Association) has plagued Britain for years. I could go on. There are literally dozens of partyist organizations in Europe; hundreds in the world. Apart from the TTT, what have the Americans had to deal with, I ask you? That, and of course the time they gassed the slaves in the Civil War, ja?" Upon being reminded about who had gassed whom and when, Ms. Daeuberl-Gmelin claimed that she never had meant the remark in a bad way. Whatever it is, interesting times are certainly in store for partygoers everywhere. The White House has indicated that the next party is being planned to occur some time this winter in Baghdad's central square. M, reporting from Pittsburgh for the Turbo Technological Times Cambridge, 26 September 2002 |
| miscellaneous | |
Copyleft notice: Copyright (C) 1999-2005 Mustafa Ünlü. This information is free; you can redistribute it and/or modify it under the terms of the GNU General Public License as published by the Free Software Foundation; either version 2 of the License, or (at your option) any later version. |